"OK you two, what's up? First how could you two decide that I was the man for each of you when you have seen me about four times in the less than two weeks since we met? You know nothing about me, I could be a rapist, a child molester, or maybe I'm into whips and chains, sadism, bondage, masochism, or maybe even into marking my chattel. You have no idea what you are getting yourselves into, do you?" Bob, Sweetheart, we do know you, while you have been gallivanting all over the country; we have been here in your home, where everything that is you is just laying around for us to see and understand just what kind of a person you are," said Tammy."We also talked to some of your clients, using the guise of a follow-up calls to see how they like your work. We also talked to a couple of your friends like Warren Lester and Sheldon Dresser; we have talked to Mike a lot and we have come to the conclusion that you are just who you seem to be. Tammy told me about you paying her shortages and. ”“I know you are but what am I?”“That’s another kid joke.”“No dookie.” She said quickly and definitely.I shook my head with a silent laugh. “I guess that’s the level of intelligence I can expect from a waitress.”She quickly sat up and shriveled her face. “Oh! That’s a low blow!” She grabbed the pillow she had been resting her head on and threw it at me, which I easily caught laughing as I did, and tucked it between my arm and the couch. When she returned to her rested state she realized she really missed that pillow. “Can I have my pillow back?”“Ch-yeah, so you can throw it at me again? No.”“I’m not going do that. I need it to rest my pretty little head. Come on, I’m broken hearted over here remember? You’re supposed to be comforting me.”“You’re going to use your failed relationship as leverage to get a pillow? No way. I’m all about me, how does giving back the pillow benefit me? What do I get in return?”“I promise not to kill you in your sleep.”“Well I sleep with one eye open.” I.
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